Resolve This! – A dozen ways to be a better cruiser in 2017.

Monday Tuesday Mantra

Happy New Year! … Happy New Year! … Happy New Year!

Resolve This!

A dozen ways to be a better cruiser in 2017.

It’s time for me to look ahead to a bright and shining new year and give some thought to what I might do to enjoy cruising even more in 2017. This year, my resolutions include:

  1. I will stick to just one tropical cocktail, no matter how good they taste.
  2. I will tell the woman with the white bathing suit that the suit becomes completely transparent when wet and not just sit in my deck chair horrified, wondering if she’s aware of it.
  3. I will not replace a set of expensive makeup brushes until I check each pocket of my suitcase immediately upon returning home from my cruise, not six months down the road as I’m packing for my next sailing.
  4. When my cabin card key demagnetizes for, like, the fourth time, I will not approach the front desk with an attitude that suggests that they are deliberately giving me faulty ones.
  5. I will aggressively research appealing cruises from my home port. While air travel is similar to childbirth in that the pain and discomfort is forgotten once the unpleasant experience is over, flying to my cruise adds expense and increases the odds that my bags will be lost or that a feverish baby might puke in my lap.
  6. When in Scotland, I will NOT sample haggis, particularly if the person pushing the dish wants me to pour single-malt Scotch into it.
  7. I will try to be more tolerant of chair hogs. Nah.
  8. I will pay strict attention to all of those texts about international data usage that pop up on my iPhone instead of returning home to discover I have to take out a second mortgage to pay my bill.
  9. I will use the complimentary hand sanitizer each time I re-board my ship, even if it means hanging my shoulder bag around my neck, gripping my purchases between my thighs and clenching my card key between my teeth.
  10. I will immediately place my valuables in my in-cabin safe and, here’s the important part: I will remember the code that I selected for my in-cabin safe.
  11. I will listen carefully to the captain’s announcements so I don’t think he’s talking about minibars when he is, in fact, stating the day’s atmospheric air pressure — in millibars.
  12. If I win daily trivia and am awarded a butt-ugly orange-nylon fanny pack with the cruise line’s logo printed on it, I’ll accept it graciously.

What are your cruise resolutions for 2017?

— Judi Cuervo

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Judi Cuervo is a New York City native who fell in love with cruising in 1976 during her first sailing aboard Carnival Cruises’ Mardi Gras. Twenty years later, she began her freelance cruise writing gig and, since that time, has covered mass market, ultra-premium, riverboat and expedition ships for regional, national and international publications as well as cruise websites.