Cough Drops and Cruise Dreams

Monday Mantra

Aaaaachooo! … Aaaaaachooo! … Aaaaachooo! …

Cough Drops and Cruise Dreams

Here’s to good health and a good ship … and they can’t come soon enough!

God, I feel awful. I’ve surrendered to the horrible head cold that’s made me miserable all week so I find myself stuck at home with no tissues, a bottle of cold medication with a 2007 expiration date, and a humor blog to write. Right now, I can barely think and I’m about as humorous as a catastrophic computer crash when nothing’s backed up, so you’ll have to excuse me if my look ahead at a few of the ships 2017 has in store for us doesn’t reflect the joyous enthusiasm you know I’d have if my head wasn’t throbbing, my ears weren’t blocked, and my nose wasn’t running:

Seabourn Encore: This gal is on the high seas already, having technically debuted in December, but since the Champagne bottle wasn’t shattered against her hull until January, she officially falls into 2017. That’s a scam if ever I heard one … like controlling the contractions so that you have the first baby of the new year.

Silver Muse: Currently, the thought of an open bar is distinctly unappealing and since I can’t smell or taste anything, even the most glorious cuisine I’ve enjoyed on past Silversea sailings — including that amazing mushroom soup at La Terrazza — doesn’t get me salivating. But boy, could I use a butler aboard Silver Muse right about now — I’d send him out for tissues and Mucinex and he’d quickly return with them, chicken soup, orange juice, and hot tea as well.

MSC Meraviglia: Oh jeez. I can’t even pronounce that word. Next!

American Duchess: A cool Gone with the Wind vibe with fancy bunting, frills, and extravagantly decorated public rooms where you can just imagine Rhett Butler hanging out. Being pretty much all-inclusive, American Duchess offers complimentary bottled water — something I’m drinking enough of this weekend to fill the Mississippi. Yay, Duchess!

Viking Sky and Viking Sun: My November sailing aboard Viking Star was flawless and this year, she and Viking Sea are joined by two magnificent sister ships: Viking Sky and Viking Sun. (At this time, I refer you to my blog about ship names.)

MSC Seaside: With 5,179 passengers, MSC Seaside will be big, big news! And while it doesn’t take much to make me dizzy in my present state, the very thought of this ship’s head-spinning water park and its five twisting, turning waterslides makes me grasp the arm of the couch I’m sitting on to steady myself.

Once I feel well, I’m sure I’ll better appreciate each of these exciting new additions to the world of cruising, and if I whine at all it’ll only be because these debuts will make it even more difficult to decide which ships to sail this year.

But now, if you’ll excuse me, I really need to blow my nose on a paper towel, take a nap … and dream about my next cruise.

— Judi Cuervo

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Judi Cuervo is a New York City native who fell in love with cruising in 1976 during her first sailing aboard Carnival Cruises’ Mardi Gras. Twenty years later, she began her freelance cruise writing gig and, since that time, has covered mass market, ultra-premium, riverboat and expedition ships for regional, national and international publications as well as cruise websites.