You Can’t Take It With You — Can You??

Monday Mantra

What’s in Your Suitcase? … What’s in Your Suitcase? … What’s in Your Suitcase? …

You Can’t Take It With You — Can You??

Wait till you see what some folks are packing …

My cruise luggage typically includes clothes, underwear, shoes, cosmetics, deodorant, hair care products, sun lotion, a book, and a camera. Everything else, I trust my ship to provide and it does so admirably.

But it seems as if I may be in the minority. I’ve seen people whip out stuff that dazzles me, shocks me, and, quite often, baffles me. Among the eye-openers:

• A Store Display of Bottled Water. Hey, I’m all about saving money, but my luggage is cumbersome enough without toting along 24 bottles of Deer Park.
• Most ships offer enough of a pillow selection to satisfy anyone, but look around during embarkation and chances are you’ll see some of your shipmates looking as if they’re en route to a slumber party.
• A Candle. Sure, they make the room smell lovely and set a romantic ambiance, but fire on board is a no-no and that baby will be confiscated quicker than the box of wine you’re hiding in your luggage.
• Wish-Bone French Salad Dressing. I watched each night as a woman arrived with a big — like 32 ounces big — bottle of this neon orange glop. If you’re taking up valuable luggage space with a big, unwieldy bottle, it should at least be filled with some kind of booze.
• Bedside Digital Alarm Clock/Radio. This was something my husband used to take along. While “WTF???” was my initial reaction, I must admit, the thing often saved me from getting up and dressed at 3 a.m. when the cabin was in total darkness.
• A Child’s Wading Pool. A woman actually blew up a child’s inflatable wading pool on deck for her grandchildren and then proceeded to fill it by immersing the ship’s beach towels — a lot of the ship’s beach towels — in the main swimming pool, wringing the water out into the kiddie pool, and then just flinging the wet towels all over. If only people would use their minds for good.
• Food. I understand the appeal of in-cabin snacking but, seriously, Ritz crackers and Pringles?
• Coffee.As one who orders her coffee from Vienna, I totally get this when you’re on a ship with an in-room coffee maker. It’s just wrong to offer someone a fabulous vacation, but start them off each day with lousy coffee.
• Old Clothes. Part of me loved the idea — and another part of me was repulsed — when a shipmate explained that she packed all old, worn-out clothes for her cruise, intending to discard each shabby outfit after she wore it so she’d have ample space in her luggage for purchases.
• Children’s … Everything. If, like me, you seek validation of your decision to remain childless, just seek out parents of young children. Toys. A car seat. A stroller. Diaper stuff. I think Lady Gaga’s last concert tour had less gear than what some of these poor parents have to tote along.

— Judi Cuervo

What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen a cruiser bring on board? Tell us in the comments below!